A Long Time Gone

Hey y’all!

My goodness it has been a LONG time since I've written anything. For a while, I wasn't sure what to write after the dress party. But a few weeks ago, I really felt a tug on my heart to put an end to this chapter of my life. Not that I haven’t already, but I feel that it’s time to tie up the last few strings and close the final chapters of the divorce so that I can move forward to make room for more. 

And please read my words for exactly what they are. It is time to write a final blog post to close out the divorce story and throw out some old pictures and cards to simply make more room in my heart ... and in my closet too! 

The good Lord has been so sweet to gently give healing, forgiveness and strength to my heart. As much as I wish it had come fast and instantaneously, I can’t say I would go back and change anything in the last three years. Every ounce of it has been an opportunity to learn and grow. 

So, to make room for more ... more what? That’s a great question. We'll just have to see! God is teaching me about His great love in a new way. I am learning to allow God to fill the empty spaces in my heart with His love, so that one day I’ll be ready to share that love completely.

I know that last sentence is a loaded one, but what does it mean? Here are a few answers:

Am I over the divorce? Yes. Will I ever forget it? No. Have I grown from it? Yes. Would I change the way it happened? No. I wish I could find the words to describe the growth and maturity this set of circumstances has brought. It completely changed my life and for the better. Through the hurt and pain, so much positive has come from it and I’m ready to live some more and love some more.

So with that, I’ll tell you how everything ended … just fine. 

My ex-husband and I finally settled everything early into that next year after the dress party. I don’t think it was the way that either of us really wanted things to settle, but it was done.  And I think we were both grateful the parley was finally over.

The year 2012 brought a fresh, new friendship and love. Someone came into my life for a reason and truly at the perfect season of life. I learned how to love and be loved.  And even after a difficult breakup, God has been so sweet to allow a continued, sincere friendship that only the King himself could design. I am very thankful to have had that life and love experience.

Into 2013, there's been more growing and learning. I have learned more about dating and relationships than anything ... and more so, dating as a single, Christian woman. I'm sure I'll blog about it later, but let me tell you, it's been challenging! I've gotten it right (once or twice!), but definitely gotten it wrong and am learning a lot! Last year, I've also had the opportunity to lead a Bible study (which is pretty awesome!), volunteer with the Junior League, enjoy some fun trips and make a ton of great memories with the world's best friends and family. 

So what's for 2014? A ten-year high school reunion, that's for sure! Wow. More leading, more volunteering, enjoying family and friends, working, traveling, staying active and simply enjoying the now. 

So with that, I cannot wait to continue Her Little White Dress stories! This little blog is getting a makeover real soon and I am excited to do some more writing! 

Love y'all so!!!

xoxo

Jes

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:14 

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Ezekiel 36:26

Birthday Wishes & Thank You's!

Hey y’all!

Yesterday I said hello to twenty-eight and I’d be crazy not to take a moment to say THANK YOU! 

Thank you for the birthday wishes.

Thank you for the surprise party.
Thank you for the fun.
Thank you for the love.
Thank you for the opportunity to call you friends and family.

I’m not sure this is where I thought I’d be in life at twenty-eight, but I sure do love it! Maybe I thought I’d be ready for my first child or buying my first house, but that’s definitely not the case right now. Although these dreams and wishes haven’t come true yet, I can’t believe that this life--this single, southern-girl life in California--keeps getting better. God’s plans for this life keep getting sweeter.

I don’t expect this next year to be easy, but I do expect it to be good. Good, as in no matter what comes my way, I won’t forget the value of the blessing to have such incredible people in my life. We’re not perfect and at times, we are a little giggly and ornery, but we rally, we laugh, we mess-up, we disappoint, we forgive, we enjoy, we love.  I am fortunate to call so many people FAMILY and even more FRIEND.

As I blew out my birthday candles at the party last week, I wished (or resolved) that…

1. I would not ever take for granted the amazing people in my life

2. I wouldn’t be scared or hesitant to obey God’s prompting.

3. I would get a CrossFit muscle-up (see this link).  

4. I’d get a new pair of running shoes.

5. I would be more generous with my time, talents, and resources this year.

So with that, on the first day of twenty-eight, please let me say THANK YOU once more. Thank you to my amazing friends and family for bringing so much love, joy, and laughter to my life! I love y’all so much!

Cheers!
xoxo
Jes

 For more birthday celebration pics, please visit my Facebook page! 

The Little White Dress Inspiration

Hey y’all!

Back again, so soon? Yes! It feels so good to be writing again. Thank you, Lord Jesus!

Back to Her Little White Dress…where did it all come from?

After the divorce was final, I had a crazy idea. I had a wedding dress that I no longer needed AND I wanted make sure I thanked everyone who stood by me and helped as I endured the heartache.

The crazy idea came when I sprayed painted “deLinde” (my maiden name) in hot pink across the back of the dress. But before that happened, I rallied my family, bridesmaids, church friends, co-workers and best girlfriends for a couple of parties (one in Arkansas and one in California) so I could say “thank you” to them.

I began by asking everyone to sign a dress that for several years had represented a marriage vow. But now that dress represented something new: God’s provision and promise. Although, I still hurt badly, God was still good and it was time to accept what had happened.  It was time to say goodbye and move forward.

Please know that the intention of this party was not malicious and had NOTHING to do with my ex-husband. It was MY, Jessica Jane deLinde’s, opportunity to thank those around me, say goodbye to an old chapter of my life and toast to a future that I could not even begin to imagine. It’s VERY important to me that you know that.

We did everything you’re not supposed to do to a wedding dress – shut it in the car door, stepped on it, spilled red wine on it, dragged it through the dirt, wrote on it, glittered it up – all of those things.

But before I ruffle anyone’s feathers too much, please keep in mind that we sometimes spend a little too much time and energy on the wedding dress and not enough time and energy on the importance and meaning of the wedding vows … “to have and to hold, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”.

So at that point, that white satin dress no longer represented a kept vow. It represented some hurt and pain, along with God’s goodness, mercy and grace. I was indeed still alive, I had amazing family and friends, and as long as I let God, He would heal my heart and use this for His good.

    

Two and a half years later, it is being used for His good! It’s been the inspiration for this blog and an opportunity to share my story and tell you about how God took such an awful life event and turned it into an encouragement; a story of healing and hope.

Today that Little White Dress is a symbol of God’s grace, forgiveness, and His unfailing love in a girl’s life who could still be a reckless mess. It’s also a reminder on many refrigerator doors that there is a God – and that He forgives, restores, revives and gives second chances.

That little white dress was later turned into hundreds of flowery, satin rose magnets for everyone that has helped, been inspired, or seen the evidence of God’s love through all of this. It is a reminder that God’s perfect love never fails.

On to the next chapter!

xoxo,
Jes

P.S. Want a dress magnet? Post a comment in the box below or send me an email at Jessica.deLinde@gmail.com and I will mail you one.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans8:28 (NIV)

“He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come. To all who mourn, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” Isaiah 61:2a-3 (NLT)

Back to Writing Again!

Hey y’all!

It’s been WAY too long since I’ve sat down to share more this good ole story but I made time early this morning to pick up where I last left off. I can't believe it’s been three months since my last post!

So, why haven’t I written? That’s a great question.

A.   I’d like to say I haven’t had the time.

B.   I’d like even more to say that I met Prince Charming and have been caught up in a fairytale love story.

But neither is true. I’ve tried many times in the past month to sit down and write but simply haven’t had the words nor the energy. Some call it writers block; I call it emptiness. Each time I create a post, I write it from my heart and soul, but unfortunately, when there’s not much in there, there’s not much to give.

At first, I chalked it up to the busyness of a full schedule, then a little funk, and finally one evening in the quiet moment, I realized it was loneliness. Me, lonely? Coming from a girl who is more than blessed with an amazing, loving family, best friends in the whole-wide world, a gracious church family and a killer group of co-workers. How could someone surround by so many wonderful people still manage to feel lonely?  

I was expecting people (and amazing ones at that!) and good, fun things to fill the empty spaces in my heart--empty spaces meant only for a Savior to fill with His unending, never-failing love. 

Over the last couple of months, I had let loneliness paralyze me and steal away the sweetness and contentment in life. I’m learning that more, more, more, doesn’t always mean more happiness or more fulfillment. And if I keep wishing life away, I will miss everything and everyone that's right in front of me NOW. 

Although my life and lifestyle hasn’t drastically changed from then to now, my heart sure has. My heart is more settled, the anxiety and loneliness has subsided and I’m learning to trust God’s promise of Hope for the future. God promises to give great joy in life and a confidence and peace in our hearts that can’t be beat. (See Romans 15:13 & Jeremiah 29:11)

I am trusting that God’s timing is perfect and He will bring THE cute boy into my life at just the right time. In the meantime, I’m going to live this life with confidence, enjoy it, and keep writing and loving those around me.

So with that, back to Her Little White Dress!

xoxo,
Jes

P.S. The little white dress post comes tomorrow.  :)

P.S.S. Not sure how can an invisible God make you feel better than the people you’re surrounded by? Learn more here: Greater Than Part 1: http://www.rockbridge.cc/sermons or take a look at Russ’ story at http://season.org/the-love-of-god-it-makes-us-whole.

 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV)

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

When the Anger Burns

Hey y'all! 

I know I’ve been MIA these past few weeks, but I cannot wait to share all that I’ve been up to. God has so graciously blessed me with a sweet friend who happens to know all things regarding tech/website design.  In addition, He blessed me with another delightful friend who is a graphic artist. Accident or design? DESIGN. It’s amazing how things line up just so and I cannot wait to show y’all what we’re working on in the upcoming months!

It feels good to get back into my regular writing again. Sweets & Sandals brought a wonderful opportunity to stand in front of an amazing crowd of women.  But I sure do love writing to my "Little White Dress" gals, too! Thank you so much for your love and patience (grin).

So, where were we? Oh, twenty-five and divorced. Yep, that is right. The divorce decree came in the mail and I was officially a divorcee with my world turned upside down.  Whew, I am so thankful that now I can write those words without pain. Remind me later to tell you WHO made that possible.

I decided to go visit some friends for the weekend simply to get away. While I was gone, I found out that my now ex-husband was publicly in a relationship with someone else just days after the divorce was final. Photos and FB posts gave way to their relationship and at that point, I was L-I-V-I-D. Girlfriends, if Webster had a stronger word for enraged, I was that. Fire burned through my veins as I tried to process what I had just seen. He what? How could he? Why? WHAT!

Before I go any farther, I want you to understand that God could have saved my marriage. The God I believe in is the Author of Time, the Creator of the Universe, the Magnificent Healer and the Great I Am. God heard every prayer and plea to save my marriage, but my husband simply didn’t want God to, so he proceeded on with the divorce. Trust me when I tell you that it is God’s desire to save relationships and mend broken homes and hearts. We simply need willing hearts to let God do the work.

“I’m calling my ex right NOW,” was my first thought. “He needs to hear that I know the truth now,” was the ache in my heart. Thankfully, I never picked up the phone. Instead I took a deep aching breath and headed up stairs for a hot shower as I tried to cool off. I’ll never forget the way I felt and the agony that burned through me as I leaned against the wall in utter defeat. In reality, there was no retaliation that would bring justice to this hurt. I could call and complain, I could tell the world how big of a jerk I thought he was, or even fly to Arkansas and push over his beloved motorcycle. But nothing I could come up with would ultimately bring justice and peace in my heart.

So what did I do? I prayed. I beat my fist against the wall at how unfair everything was as I cried for God to take it all away. I didn’t paint the motorcycle pink (although occasionally I regret that…just kidding!) or rent a billboard splashed with the words I felt. Some would say I took the high road, but the truth is I did the only thing that I knew could truly help me. I prayed to God, the Great I Am, and asked Him to ease this anguish for me. Make no mistake, the anger didn’t instantly subside, nor did great wisdom come upon me at once, but I did have some amazing friends day after day remind me of the importance to simply leave well enough alone. To let go and let God.

Day by day, week by week, the anger went away, and so did the fierceness of the agony. I had to be intentional about asking God to protect my heart from any lingering and long-lasting anger or bitterness. The fact was that I had every right to be upset and angry. What I didn’t have the right to do was hold on to and harbor those emotions in my heart and soul. Some might think that prayer was a wimpy way out of the situation, but instead it was a powerful choice. Two years later looking back – it was the right choice. As the story unfolds a bit more, letting go and letting God was the best decision I have ever made.

Promise to write sooner rather than later! The next post will pick up about how “Her Little White Dress” came along. Lots of love!

xoxo

Jes

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26-27 (The Message)

“So humble yourself under the mighty power of the Lord and at the right time, He will lift you up. Give all your worries and cares to God for He cares about you.” 1 Peter 5: 6-7

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the work of salvation the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:13a-14

A Sweets & Sandals Thank You!

THANK YOU! Thank you so much for coming to Sweets & Sandals Girls Night last Thursday. It was such a great evening and really good to see everyone! If you missed it, here are a few photos: 

Lots of sweets and delicious desserts!

Little White Dress magnets...a little reminder of God's grace!

Our verse for the night was Matthew 11:28 when Jesus said, "Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." The rest Jesus refers to is a feeling of inner peace no matter the situation. Whether life brings joy, sorrow, loneliness or excitement, it is God's rest through Jesus Christ that give us a confidence and a settling of the heart to continue to move forward even though the toughest of situations.

It was such a delight to have the opportunity to share my story of God's sweet love with you. While life hasn't turned out exactly how I had planned, I'm confident that I am living out a life that has been so purposefully planned for me. With that, I can find peace and confidence in knowing there's more to this world than just what we see. Praise God for His goodness and grace! 

I still have plenty of dress magnets! If you wanted one and didn't get to grab a couple, please post a comment below and I'll bring you one or drop a few in the mail.

Hope to see you at the next Sweets & Sandals Girls Night on July 25th!

Much love,

xoxo

Jes

Sweets & Sandals

Come join us for GIRLS NIGHT this Thursday, June 27th at 7:00p for Sweets & Sandals at Daybreak Church in Carlsbad.

Wear your flip-flops, bring a sweet treat and come as you are! It's an evening that will warm your soul and put a smile on your face. So if you're free, please join us! I've been given the opportunity to speak and share my full story of Her Little White Dress. 

It would be great to see your sweet faces and please consider this an invitation to bring a friend as well. You don't have to go to Daybreak or another church to attend this event--it's open to all ladies! If you have any questions or need directions send me an email at jessica.delinde@gmail.com or FB me. Hope to see you Thursday!

Much love,
xoxo
Jes


Daybreak Church

6515 Ambrosia Lane

Carlsbad, CA 92011

http://www.daybreakchurch.org/