The Words I Never Wanted to Hear

Oh girlfriends! I am blessed that you’d come back to read more of this story. I’ll jump right into the next chapter as I recently found this in a journal entry from the summer of 2011. It read:

“Ten Things God has taught Jessica Jane”

* He alone is the God Almighty.

* He sustains.

* He never leaves.

* He is faithful to His Word.

* Nothing goes to waste - God uses it all for His glory.

* God is at work all the time.

* He hears prayers.

* He answers them.

* His timing is impeccable.

* God prepares the way.

I share this because even though this little white dress story involves unimaginable heart-breaking pain and betrayal, it also tells of God's sovereignty, redemption, grace andforgiveness. 

In the midst of the tears, the sleepless nights, a heartache that would not go away, the loneliness, pain and disappointment of shattered hopes and dreams, God heard each prayer and cry for strength. He walked with me during the daily battle of a new, unwanted and unmerited future someone else had chosen for me. I prayed. The good Lord answered. God provided and He made a way. 

Two years ago, I was driving across the country in a quest to change my husband’s mind. I had just heard the words, “I'm unhappy and I don’t want to be married anymore” over the phone and I was in a hurry to get home and remind him of our love for eachother. I knew this had to be a mistake. 

After I arrived home to see those bright blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, I still couldn't believe his words. Yet he continued to say them; they were as real as the sun shining that summer day. I was in shock. I questioned his decision. How could this be? We had a good marriage. Counseling could fix this. We could fix this. God could fix this. We could make it through this.

Five days later, we walked into the courthouse and my husband filed for divorce. 

I flew back to San Diego the following weekend numb, in complete disbelief, but hopeful that he might change his mind before the divorce was final. I wanted together forever and happily ever after. 

OK, this girl has to get back to work! I will pick up where I left off in my next post AND fill you in on the details of my trip back home. 

Much love!

xoxo,

Jes

P.S. Is there something that has just rocked your world? Ask God to help you get through it. He will. God will give you the strength and everything you need. The Lord our God is faithful. 

"I cried out to the Lord in my great trouble, and he answered me.” Jonah 2:2 

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope that we profess, for the One who is promised, is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

A Little Introduction with A Little Life Interruption!

Hey y'all!

It's time for a little introduction to this story I've been talking about. I’m beginning this right as I’m in the middle of Priscilla Shirer's Bible study, Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted, which talks about the privilege of having God "interrupt"or divinely intervene in your life. The truth is that God doesn't need us to complete the good work He planned long ago, but He chooses to use us in His purposeful and eternal plan. When my life was abruptly interrupted two years ago, I did not think it was a privilege at all. To that date in my life, it was the. worst. thing. ever! Ever! And today, while it is still an unfortunate life-changing event, God has used much of it for His good. And I am privileged that God would use it for His glory.

So back to the story ... about the little white dress. Almost seven years ago I stood in front of family and friends in my childhood country church vowing to love and honor the man standing beside me until death do us part. I was thrilled to be his bride and we went on to make many sweet and fun memories over the next five years. God truly blessed us as a young couple and ALWAYS provided for us. It wasn't pure bliss every moment, but it sure was good. God gave us each great families, amazing friends, and a wonderful church community ... the things that truly count in this life. So when the “worst. thing.ever” happened, it was absolutely devastating.

We were in the process of moving back to our hometown.  He went a few weeks ahead of me while I wrapped up loose ends at my current job. Things were tight and a bit tough, but nothing we couldn't stand. And besides, God had answered so many of our prayer requests leading up to this point - from a place to rent, to college acceptance,scholarship money, easy pack-up and move, a temporary post office box, to income and unemployment - divorce never once crossed my mind.Yet it came fast and furious. Almost a month and half after the answered prayers and the move, I found myself divorced. Just like that.

Please know that as I tell you this story, I fully believe it takes two. It takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage. I had to sign the papers just like he did. Regardless of who filed, we both have ownership in the dissolution of that sacred covenant ... and I thank God the story doesn't end there.

But right now, I’ve got to get to bed. I promise to pick up where I left off in my next post!

Love, 

Jes

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good work, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:6 

"And we know that in all things God works out for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28