Hey y'all!
I know I’ve been MIA
these past few weeks, but I cannot wait to share all that I’ve been up to. God
has so graciously blessed me with a sweet friend who happens to know
all things regarding tech/website design. In addition, He
blessed me with another delightful friend who is a graphic artist.
Accident or design? DESIGN. It’s amazing how things line up just so and I
cannot wait to show y’all what we’re working on in the upcoming months!
It feels good to get
back into my regular writing again. Sweets & Sandals brought a wonderful opportunity
to stand in front of an amazing crowd of women. But I sure do love
writing to my "Little White Dress" gals, too! Thank you so much
for your love and patience (grin).
So, where were we?
Oh, twenty-five and divorced. Yep, that is right. The divorce decree came in
the mail and I was officially a divorcee with my world turned upside
down. Whew, I am so thankful that now I can write those words without
pain. Remind me later to tell you WHO made that possible.
I decided to go visit
some friends for the weekend simply to get away. While I was gone, I found out
that my now ex-husband was publicly in a relationship with someone else just
days after the divorce was final. Photos and FB posts gave way to their
relationship and at that point, I was L-I-V-I-D. Girlfriends, if Webster had a
stronger word for enraged, I was that. Fire burned through my veins as I tried
to process what I had just seen. He what? How could he? Why? WHAT!
Before I go any
farther, I want you to understand that God could have saved my marriage.
The God I believe in is the Author of Time, the Creator of the Universe, the
Magnificent Healer and the Great I Am. God heard every prayer and plea to save
my marriage, but my husband simply didn’t want God to, so he proceeded on with
the divorce. Trust me when I tell you that it is God’s desire to save
relationships and mend broken homes and hearts. We simply need willing hearts
to let God do the work.
“I’m calling my
ex right NOW,” was my first
thought. “He needs to hear that I know the truth now,” was the
ache in my heart. Thankfully, I never picked up the phone. Instead I took a
deep aching breath and headed up stairs for a hot shower as I tried to cool
off. I’ll never forget the way I felt and the agony that burned through me as
I leaned against the wall in utter defeat. In reality, there was no retaliation
that would bring justice to this hurt. I could call and complain, I could tell
the world how big of a jerk I thought he was, or even fly to Arkansas and push
over his beloved motorcycle. But nothing I could come up with would ultimately
bring justice and peace in my heart.
So what did I do? I
prayed. I beat my fist against the wall at how unfair everything was as I cried
for God to take it all away. I didn’t paint the motorcycle pink (although
occasionally I regret that…just kidding!) or rent a billboard splashed
with the words I felt. Some would say I took the high road, but the truth is I
did the only thing that I knew could truly help me. I prayed to God, the Great
I Am, and asked Him to ease this anguish for me. Make no mistake, the
anger didn’t instantly subside, nor did great wisdom come upon me at once, but
I did have some amazing friends day after day remind me of the importance to
simply leave well enough alone. To let go and let God.
Day by day, week by
week, the anger went away, and so did the fierceness of the agony. I
had to be intentional about asking God to protect my heart from any lingering
and long-lasting anger or bitterness. The fact was that I
had every right to be upset and angry. What I didn’t have the right to do was
hold on to and harbor those emotions in my heart and soul. Some might
think that prayer was a wimpy way out of the situation, but instead it was a
powerful choice. Two years later looking back – it was the right
choice. As the story unfolds a bit more, letting go and letting God was
the best decision I have ever made.
Promise to write
sooner rather than later! The next post will pick up about how “Her
Little White Dress” came along. Lots of love!
xoxo
Jes
“Go ahead and be
angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge.
And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of
foothold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26-27 (The Message)
“So humble yourself
under the mighty power of the Lord and at the right time, He will lift you up.
Give all your worries and cares to God for He cares about you.” 1 Peter 5: 6-7
“Moses answered the
people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the work of
salvation the Lord will
bring you today. The Lord will
fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:13a-14
Exodus 14:13a-14
